Anyway, so how does birth order affect things? An example that I love to turn to with this topic is my parents. My mom was an older sibling, my dad was a younger sibling, and dear lord did it show in how they handled conflict resolution between me and my sisters. But, it's a bit presumptuous of me to try to interpret how birth order affected their experience and approaches to life, so I'm going to focus on mine.
When it comes down to it, the protective instinct toward my sisters is probably one of the most important things to me. Last year, when Randi and I got into a car accident trying to help out this stupid bitch neighbor of ours, my gut reaction wasn't to call for help or assess the damage done to the car or check to see if I'd been hurt or if that stupid bitch and her cat were okay; it was to spin around and look in the back seat to see if Randi was okay. She had the common sense to call 911 while I was panicking and worrying about her though, so perhaps her instincts are a little more effective than mine.
In a weird way, I feel as though I've really set the bar for my sisters to live up to. I'm planning to become a high school math teacher after college, and both of them (at least for now; I expect this to change by the time they make an actual choice) want to be teachers when they grow up. I'd like to think that that has something to do with the choices I've made.
A recurring theme when my grandmother calls to check in is that my youngest sister, Laura, feels as though she isn't smart enough to live up to the high standards that I've set. I wish I could explain to her that my accomplishments aren't all that impressive and that she's more than capable of doing even more with her life than I have, but she's eight and kind of idolizes me. Oh well. She'll figure that out when she's a teenager.
Speaking of teenagers, I'm going to try not to talk too much about Randi's experience (since she'll be doing that herself on Saturday), but a special note has to go to the way that our relationship has developed since I moved out. She's taken on a lot more responsibility without me in the house, and I think that her getting a taste of what it's like to be the de facto oldest has created a sense of mutual understanding that didn't exist before. We were at each other's throats almost nonstop before I moved out, but now she's one of two of my close family members that I feel like I can talk to about anything.
This may sound a bit arrogant, but I do feel as though my position as the oldest really put me at an advantage growing up. My parents were new to the whole raising children thing, and I think that it made them put in more of an effort to avoid screwing up, though that may have just been easier because they were still married for most of my childhood.
I really think that my status as the oldest sibling gives my sisters another person to not only look up to, but also judge the mistakes of. I mean, a huge part of shaping who I am came in the form of trying to avoid making my parents' mistakes, and I think that my sisters will be able to turn a similarly critical eye to my actions and maybe avoid some of the mistakes that I've made. Randi's one of the most laid back people that I know, and I'm a neurotic mess. Laura is probably the most outgoing kid I've ever seen, and I'm introverted to a fault. Coincidences? Maybe.
Anyway, I've rambled a bit without really making a point. Hm. To sum up, I really think I'm the archetypal oldest child. I'm very possessive, I don't like to relinquish control of a situation, I am always the one to organize and schedule things, my sisters look up to me (I think), and I had more than a few significant advantages over them growing up. Maybe Randi's post will elaborate on some of the things I've talked about to reach some kind of deeper insight into the situation.
In the mean time, John'll be sharing his experiences with birth order tomorrow. Enjoy.
When it comes down to it, the protective instinct toward my sisters is probably one of the most important things to me. Last year, when Randi and I got into a car accident trying to help out this stupid bitch neighbor of ours, my gut reaction wasn't to call for help or assess the damage done to the car or check to see if I'd been hurt or if that stupid bitch and her cat were okay; it was to spin around and look in the back seat to see if Randi was okay. She had the common sense to call 911 while I was panicking and worrying about her though, so perhaps her instincts are a little more effective than mine.
In a weird way, I feel as though I've really set the bar for my sisters to live up to. I'm planning to become a high school math teacher after college, and both of them (at least for now; I expect this to change by the time they make an actual choice) want to be teachers when they grow up. I'd like to think that that has something to do with the choices I've made.
A recurring theme when my grandmother calls to check in is that my youngest sister, Laura, feels as though she isn't smart enough to live up to the high standards that I've set. I wish I could explain to her that my accomplishments aren't all that impressive and that she's more than capable of doing even more with her life than I have, but she's eight and kind of idolizes me. Oh well. She'll figure that out when she's a teenager.
Speaking of teenagers, I'm going to try not to talk too much about Randi's experience (since she'll be doing that herself on Saturday), but a special note has to go to the way that our relationship has developed since I moved out. She's taken on a lot more responsibility without me in the house, and I think that her getting a taste of what it's like to be the de facto oldest has created a sense of mutual understanding that didn't exist before. We were at each other's throats almost nonstop before I moved out, but now she's one of two of my close family members that I feel like I can talk to about anything.
This may sound a bit arrogant, but I do feel as though my position as the oldest really put me at an advantage growing up. My parents were new to the whole raising children thing, and I think that it made them put in more of an effort to avoid screwing up, though that may have just been easier because they were still married for most of my childhood.
I really think that my status as the oldest sibling gives my sisters another person to not only look up to, but also judge the mistakes of. I mean, a huge part of shaping who I am came in the form of trying to avoid making my parents' mistakes, and I think that my sisters will be able to turn a similarly critical eye to my actions and maybe avoid some of the mistakes that I've made. Randi's one of the most laid back people that I know, and I'm a neurotic mess. Laura is probably the most outgoing kid I've ever seen, and I'm introverted to a fault. Coincidences? Maybe.
Anyway, I've rambled a bit without really making a point. Hm. To sum up, I really think I'm the archetypal oldest child. I'm very possessive, I don't like to relinquish control of a situation, I am always the one to organize and schedule things, my sisters look up to me (I think), and I had more than a few significant advantages over them growing up. Maybe Randi's post will elaborate on some of the things I've talked about to reach some kind of deeper insight into the situation.
In the mean time, John'll be sharing his experiences with birth order tomorrow. Enjoy.
No comments:
Post a Comment